My Beginning

I'll be the first to tell you, I never had it rough. I grew up in a loving household with one mom, one dad, one brother, one dog and then another and a couple of cats thrown in for good measure.
I am the product of the all American family. My Dad worked at the big red box. He became President of the Big Red Box when I started kindergarten. My mom was and remains to be a "stay at home mom", although these days, the only child she stays home for is our family dog. And at eight, I think it's safe to say he's old enough to take care of himself.... provided someone feeds him and lets him out a couple of times a day.

My younger brother and I went to public school one district over from where the big red box is located. My mom hoped it would keep us out of the lime light of and hopefully less people would know how entire family. I think it was the best decision she ever made. Yes people knew we were *Carters* (not my real name) but for the most part, people never made a huge deal of it.

I loved learning, loved school, loved my friends and grew up to be what I think it was rounded, socially responsible and pretty laid back. Yes, I hated high school, but let's be honest here.... did you enjoy high school? No body really enjoys high school.

When it came time to pick a college, my Dad, being the over protective dad that he was said I could go to college up to 5 hours away. Me, being the rebellious child (not so much) that I was, picked a college 5.5 hours away.

I'll never forget my first days at Somewheresville College. I loved every minute there. The large oak tree covered lawns, the red brick and mortar buildings, the smell of the southern air, the view of the Blue Ridge Mountains. I was hardly ever home sick, I LOVED IT there.

I quickly joined a co-ed business fraternity, made friends with my peers and my professors, became an RA and found my niche. I dated a few different guys during my freshman and sophomore years and found the friends that I would keep for life. All was well.

And then I met G.I. Joe. He went to a military college a few hours away. He came to visit one of my dear friends and it was love at first sight. I remember hearing about him, how I should meet him, but I did realize he was "him" until the next day. Our first night meeting we danced the night away at some smoky, stale beer smelling college house basement. And while was shorter then I preferred and he was a southern as southern gets, I never wanted to leave his side.

To make a very, very long story short. We spent three years together. It was the best and worst of times all rolled into one. He was the one person in this world that I would have changed my whole life for. It was by the grace of God that, in the end, I didn't.

He was going into the Air Force after college graduation. I didn't really know what I wanted to do. He had goals and plans. I figured I wasn't ready to grow up yet so I decided to stick around for graduate college and work in student development (which by the way, was the WORST decision EVER made).

We had plans to get married, to start a life together. We decided that he would go through his first two years of military training while I got my graduate degree. Then we'd get married and go where the Air Force sent us. It sounded wonderful and I let these plans consume me. My life suddenly became less about my friends, my goals and the things that I enjoyed and more about us and our life and the things that "we" enjoyed. In short, I got wrapped up into something that wasn't really about me, or us, it was about him.

When we graduated, two weeks apart, I had a pit in the bottom of my stomach. I knew something wasn't right, I knew I was about to fall off a proverbial cliff, but I had no idea when it was coming or what it would be like on the way down. It was like riding an unfamiliar roller coaster in the dark. I just waited for the drop.

And boy oh, boy did did it drop.

In The Beginning

Way back when..... one hundred and nine years and one month ago to be exact. My great x 4 grandpa began a small time handy man business. He was the town fix-it man and also a very wise entrepreneur. He knew someday the town in lived in would need in-door plumbing. So he sent his son to learn the trade of plumbing. And that is where my family's story began:

Together they grew their business from small time handy man work to home construction, plumbing, heating, excavating.... etc, etc.

Fast forward to now. His great, great, great, great grandson is now president of his company. He and his brothers and sister and step-mom walk through the door of our big red box every day and make the decisions that will hopefully keep our business running for another 109 years.

Through the years our specialities have changed, our employees have doubled and tripled in number. But many things remain the same, we're still family owned, we're still in the same small town and we still remain steadfast in providing a quality job to our customers. May of whom have been with us for 30 and 40 years. Just like some of our employees.

My favorite employee, we'll call him Mr. Jim, has been apart of our business and my family since the beginning of time. He was hired by my grandpa in the living room of my great grandmother's house. He not only knew my grandpa, but my great grandpa as well. The ties he has to our business and our family are old, twisted and ultimately unbreakable.

Growing up, the big red box was always apart of my life. I spent many a summer working in the office, filling massive amounts of paperwork, making phone calls, faxing documents, compiling owners manuals, taking service calls, purchasing parts.... learning the ropes anyway I could.

I always knew being a part of our family business was an option for me. What I didn't know is if I'd want it or not. Being the 1st of the 5th generation of our family business, I knew I had not only some large shoes to fill, but some important trails to blaze as well. I sent most of my high school and college career unsure if I'd be willing to accept the challenge. (Mostly, I just wanted to trophy wife.... okay.... I still do...)

After I graduated college in Elsewhere, Virginia, I decided I didn't want to come home yet. Beginning the bargain shopper that I am, I discovered if I stayed in Elsewhere, I could go to graduate school and earn my MBA for half price. BINGO!!!

So I stayed, enrolled in graduate school, suffered an insurmountable loss when I broke up with with my ex-boyfriend- forever to be known as GI Joe, picked up the pieces of my broken life, stuck with graduate school and got a real job.

And oh what a job it was..... (don't worry, there will be more on that later).

While my legacy at the big red box began the day first I came into the world, my story, what makes me a part of all of this, began in Elsewhere, Virginia.

Over the coming days, weeks and years, I would like to tell you that story... mostly in pieces, small scrapes of memories, vignettes of easier, funnier times. A tale of heartbreak, a tale of survival. Tales that can't be told yet, because they haven't even happened yet.

While I am wise for my years, most of my story has yet to begin.

I think it is important for me to reflect on these lost moments of my life. I need to understand who it is that I am before I decided who it is that I really want to be.

And so begins, my story....

My Last Name

I changed it today.

For most newlywed women, it's a big, exciting, let's throw a parade to celebrate kind of deal to change your name. My "friends" on theknot(.)com spent weeks and weeks obsessing over when they'd get their marriage licenses in the mail so they could run out to the nearest social security office or DMV to get their new names plastered all over everything.

I.AM.NOT.ONE.OF.THOSE.BRIDES.

I love my old last name, which is now, my middle name. It's an easy name to pronounce, easy to spell, easy to recognize and could be made into a great nick-name.

It was mine. It is plastered all over the signage of our family business. It is a part of my heritage. It is a part of my culture, not to mention our company's culture. I liked being referred to as a "old last name" girl.

When I got married, I made a point of telling everyone: at work my name is what is always has been. In my personal life, it's Mr. Berg's last name.

So from 7:30 to 5pm Monday to Friday. I'm still who I always have been.
At home, Berg it is.

I hate it.
I went from 18 letters to 22 in my full name.
I takes 5 seconds longer to sign it.
People look at me like I'm nuts when I say it. I always have to spell it. No one can pronounce it.

Today at the DMV three girls before me all changed their names, they all smiled for the camera and looked at their new IDs glowingly.
When I was handed mine, it was all I could do to get to the car before bursting into tears.

So why did I change it?

Mr. Berg was adamant that I did. He's the last of the "Bergs" and it was important to him that he last name was carried on. And because I love him and I'm proud to be his wife, I did it. I did it for him. Not for me, I am happy just as I was.

So, it's offical. I am J-Berg. But deep down inside, I'll always just be me.

Doing It Right

As a new wife, career woman, friend, daughter, sister and co-worker, my life is pretty full. I don't always have time to do everything that I would like to do. Details are often over looked, phone calls to good friends are sometimes forgotten about, dust is left on the end tables for another day, that sticky spot on the kitchen floor gets stepped over instead of mopped.... there is no way to do it all, all the time.

With these things that often get dropped or forgotten about, it's easy- for me at least, to come down on myself and mentally beat myself up for not having a perfectly clean house, or leaving unfolded laundry on the guest bed a few to many days.

Somewhere, deep inside my head, I feel as though I should be step-ford wife. My house should always been spotless and ready for company, my furniture should always be dust free, a fresh hot meal should always be waiting for my husband whenever we comes home. My laundry should always be neatly folded, my outfits should always be pressed, clean and matching. My cabinets should be organized, my garage should be tidy, my gardens should be weed free and my bird feeder should always be full.

However, there's a larger part of me that knows, my life isn't one of those perfect lives you see on TV. I work 50 hours a week, my husband works 65-70. Our garage is still fully of boxes because we don't have time unpack and organize everything in one evening. My furniture is dusty and I can dust it all I want, but the truth of the matter is- I have cats (who are shedding machines) and a life and daily dusting just isn't going to happen.

And so... that leads me to my point, yes I promise, I really do have one.
Today and every Friday (that I remember) from this point forward will be: Thankfully Friday.
I'm going to take a moment to list what I'm thankful for and what I did right this week.

So when I'm down and out and feel like the worst home maker in the world, I can look back on this and remember. There are plenty of things in this world that I am doing right.

Thankful Friday:

I am thankful for....

• My husband- who always takes out the trash and reminds me to recycle
• My Mom- even though she acts as if I moved to Mars (rather then 5 minutes down the road). She emails me every day and reminds me that not everything has to be perfect all the time.
• My dear friends- They call me and email me and harass the living crap out of me some days. They've seen me through my best and my worst and they love me just the same.
• Our Labor Day Trip- Since moving away from Elsewhere we don't have many local friends. This labor Day Mr. Berg and I will be traveling "Down Yonder" to visit Mama Beans, Jim Beam, Jayman, and all our friends. It will be a wonderful (hangover filled) four days.
• Sophie and Bob- Mr. Berg is never home when I get home. Instead, I have a two four legged greeters who rush to the door the minute they hear me say "Hello, Kitties"
• My job- not many people get to work for their family's 100 + company. I am so proud of us.

What I'm Doing Right:

• Mr. Berg never has to eat crap for dinner. Granted, I only cook three nights out of the week. But with only two of us, there's always plenty of left overs. I love to cook and I'm proud that I can make good, healthy meals for us that sustain us and keep us going.
• My towels, sheets and clothing are always clean. I might be throwing loads of laundry in a 6am but by golly, we never have smelly towels or soiled sheets.
• Groceries- we have yet to run out of anything. My pantry is always stocked, my fridge is filled with good produce and nicely organized essentials. We'll never go hungry.
• Tending to my friends- My greatest and bestest friend, EEDJ, is going through a lot of family drama. While I can't be there in person, I make a point to email or call everyday for status reports and check ins. And I'm praying for her life I've never prayed for anyone in my life.
• Keeping in Real- I will never sugar coat anything. I say it like it is, no matter what. Love it or hate it, I won't pretend, I won't hide and I won't ever stop speaking my mind.
  
  
  That's all for now-
  JBerg

Staying Organized

I knew when I married Mr. Berg that I would be taking on a lot.

Growing up an only child and a late in the life baby to boot, he's..... let's just say... a little spoiled.
He never had to clean, was never forced to make his bed, and pretty much was pampered until the day he moved out.

Once he moved out- he never cleaned, never made his bed and pretty much lived off of frozen pizza and diet soda..... that was until I came along.

Now that Mr. Berg is an adult and a successful salesman leaves our house at 7:15am Monday through Saturday for work. He returns anywhere between 7:45 and 9:45 on weeknights and somewhere between 5 and 8pm on weekends.

Needless to say he's hardly ever home and when he is he's there to sleep, eat, have sex or try to accomplish a project or two.

This leaves Mr. Berg with very few responsibilities around our little house on a hill. He's in charge of taking out the trash, his own laundry and mowing the lawn.

I do everything else..... literally..... everything.
I plan our meals, compile our grocery lists, herd the cats, de-furr the furniture, clean, remove paw prints that magically appear on coffee tables and kitchen counters (Sophie and Bob), pick box shorts off the floor, make lunches, schedule repair people, meet repair people, make dinner, prepare for visitors, organize the garage, sort the recycling, install new curtain rods.... the list goes on and on and on.....

Yes, I'm aware I'm preaching to the choir.... who doesn't do what I do? We're all in the boat.

Since I'm always juggling one more pin that I should really carry, it's important for me to stay organized.

I'm a list maker, a planner and I'm anal retentive when it comes to organizing and cleaning. I like to know where everything is, at any given moment. I think everything should be in it's place.

My biggest fear in life it to end up on dateline as the woman who made her family deathly ill because she failed to clean the toilets properly.

Mr. Berg. Not so much.

This morning I walked in the kitchen to find the following things on my kitchen counters.

• Fruit Bowl
• Candle
• Grocery List for today
• A Hammer
• Zip Ties
• Toaster Oven
• Canisters
• Two sets of car keys
• A pile of business card with notes written on the back

Can you guess which of these things are not like the others.

I'll give you a minute to think on it.

If you guessed: Hammer, Zip Ties and Business Cards you are correct.

I have A. no idea why any of these things were there and B. no idea why Mr. Berg thought they should be.

Fan-freaking-tastic

When confronted about such interesting knick knacks, Mr. Berg looked at me like I had three heads and said: "It's that where they're supposed to go?"

-Genius, when you got home last night did you see a hammer on the kitchen counter? I didn't.
And we certainly know Bob didn't get it out last night.


Why do I bother?

Is It Friday Yet?

This morning I had to drive Mr. Berg's car to work as my car is pulling a "general lee." The driver's side rear passenger door won't open. Not from the outside, not from the inside, not at all. Thus, it spent the night at the body shop, awaiting it's attitude adjustment first thing this morning.

I left my house early this morning and drove to work, smiling all the way because I remembered to bring my lunch, my blackberry, and my sunglasses (typically one of these items is always left on the kitchen counter). Wow I thought "what an organized morning."....... foreshadowing is such a bitch....

It wasn't until I arrived at work

40 minutes early, not to mention

that I remembered:
A. I forgot my keys, thus I wouldn't be able to get into the building nor my office
B. Today is "lunch meeting day" aka get a 30 minute pedicure over my lunch hour.... I forgot my trusty flip-flops

AUGH!

So, who drive ALL THE WAY HOME (15 minutes, B-F-D) to pick up her lost belongings.

You guessed it, J-Berg.
Oh and on the way back, the low fuel light came on in Mr. Berg's car.

Lucky, lucky me.

Where Have I Been?

Good Question!

Lately my life has been a lot of this:

• Organizing
• Unpacking
• Litter Box Cleaning
• Dinner Making
• Recipe Researching
• Grocery List Compiling
• Lunch Packing
• Laundry Doing
• Curtain Rod Hanging
• Lowes Exploring
• Thistle Killing- man, I hate those suckers

Not a lot of this:

• Relaxing
• Sleeping
• Quality Time with Mr. Berg
• Wine Drinking
• Socializing
• Fun Enjoying

Oh, the joys of setting up house.

Today our electrician finally came out to install our new electrical outlets and cable hook ups. Now I have to get the cable man back out to activate the lines and we should be set.... wait, Mr. Berg hasn't picked out our new TV yet.... never mind.....

This weekend we'll be taking a trip to Elsewhere to visit our dear friend Mamas Beam and Jim Beam and celebrate another good friend's 30th Birthday. It will be whirlwind trip, to say the least. Mr. Berg has to work until 7pm on Friday night so we won't be pulling into Elsewhere until well after midnight. On Sunday we'll be leaving at the butt crack of dawn to get home in time for Mr. Berg to go to baseball game with his favorite friend. Notice how it's all about Mr. Berg lately?

Yes, I noticed that too....

Well, back to the grind for this girl.
That's all for now,
JBerg.